FAMILY TIME: What Happens When Mom Suddenly Needs a Sick Day?

I REMEMBER getting sick in the good old days.

The biggest and baddest time, my husband met me after work and we headed to the Big Box home store so we could pick out tile for our new laundry room. All of a sudden, I realized that my skin hurt at the touch of my clothes. I was shocked. I, who never gets a fever, had a fever. I called and cancelled plans with friends for later that evening.

By the time we made our purchase and got home, I was light-headed and almost giddy -- a day off! I left a voicemail for my boss saying I wouldn’t be in. I think he could hear the amusement in my voice. I gathered magazines and movies and went to bed thrilled and fascinated by this unexpected cosmic holiday.

I didn’t get up again for another week. It was a nasty case of the flu and when my fever broke four days later, my head filled up like it would explode. While I was in bed, my husband built an entire room in our basement. Everything on my plate got put on hold and I simply slept.

That was before I had kids. Fast forward to earlier this year.

A little before dinner, I realized I had a knot in my stomach that was not going away. I finished making dinner, fed the kids, got them bathed and ready for bed. My husband got home from work late that night and by then I was chilled.

I went to bed in flannel pajamas and lay beneath our down comforter shivering. Eventually, I went downstairs to check the thermostat and that’s when my husband suggested maybe I had a fever, my first since the bout with the flu four years earlier. The walk downstairs had wiped me out, though, and I lay on the floor in the fetal position for several minutes before regaining enough strength to stumble back to bed. I spent the night mostly awake, feverish, freezing and literally sick to my stomach.

Then, around 7 a.m., the baby woke. My husband was racing out of the house to a meeting and it was time to take care of the kids. Sick time was over.

I hesitate to put this in writing, but luckily, I don’t get truly sick very often. However, there are plenty of days when I struggle to keep up the pace in spite of a headache or case of the sniffles. I wonder what I would do if I ever got the flu again. Sometimes, you just can’t keep going. And then you need help.

So, what is a mom or dad to do when you’re the primary caregiver and you get sick?

Somehow, you’ve got to get help.

If you’re lucky and have family nearby who can come to your rescue, now’s the time to ask for help. For others, that may mean tapping your local, extended family.

“I am lucky to have a wonderful group of moms who can take my kids,” says local mom Ellen Sneider.

For others, that may mean calling the date night babysitter or scheduling extra child care for the week, if you have a part-time situation that can be adjusted. Pro club members can also drop the kids off at the club's childcare area, since you don't have to remain on-site.

When you don’t have any options within your existing network, though, there are additional local services that can help you out.

ONE OPTION available to anyone is On Call Nanny. On Call Nanny is a Seattle-based nanny placement agency that specializes in short-notice placements for short-term and temporary situations. All of their nannies are experienced and meet basic criteria. Some local employers also partner with On Call Nanny to provide subsidized back-up dependent care for their employees. For more information, go to: http://www.oncallnanny.com/corporate/landing.

Another local back-up dependent care option available to the families of employees of several local employers is Bright Horizons. Bright Horizons provides center-based care, as well as home-based care placements. However, available options depend upon the specific plan offered by individual employers. For more information, check with your employer or go to: http://www.brighthorizons.com/programs/backupcare.aspx.

Finally, drop-off daycare facilities like The Nest in Woodinville (http://www.thenestkids.com/index.php) and Adventure Kids Playcare (http://web.adventurekidsplaycare.com/about.html) in Issaquah offer last-minute, pay-as-you go, center-based childcare options.

While waiting for help to arrive, I learned in my bedrest days the importance of making my kids as safely independent as possible so I can lay on the couch and rest. Depending on the age of your kids, try putting them in a child-proofed room with a variety of safe and time-consuming projects available, such as arts and crafts, Legos, or a fort for the more imaginative kids. And of course, even if you’re not a big TV-watching family, if your kids have the attention span for TV or movies, it’s the perfect activity for at least part of sick day.

So, you’ve got help with the kids, but how do you keep the household stocked and functioning with the least possible effort?

Amazon Fresh will deliver groceries to your door, often within hours of placing your order. So, if it’s orange juice, tissues and ice cream you crave (and maybe a cheerful bouquet of get-well flowers?), hop online, place your order, then lay back and relax.

Need to pick up your prescription? I’m a huge fan of the pharmacy drive-through. Almost all year, I’ve been struggling through the trip to the pharmacy with two kids, inevitably having to wait longer than I’d hoped. For some reason, it didn’t click that the drive-through would transform a painful process into a delight. Both Kirkland pharmacies – one on 98thand one on 85th – have a drive-thru.

So, next time you’re down for the count, do your best to carve out a sick day. Not only do you deserve it, but it will help you get better faster, which benefits the whole family. Call in the reserves. Ask for help. Hire a child care provider. Order grocery delivery and zip through the drive through if you must go out.

Otherwise, lay back, relax and enjoy a sick day like in the good old days.