Kirkland Teen Located: What Can You Do if Your Teen is in Crisis?

Summer is a tough time for teens who are struggling with personal or family issues, when the usual support and structure of school is absent and they often are left with a lot of time on their hands.

Most youth crisis outreach and referral occurs by school district—Youth Eastside Services is the referring agency for the Lake Washington School District—says Terry Pottmeyer, CEO of Friends of Youth, so teens may find themselves without that important resource during summer months.

Mostly, when a teen runs away, we don’t even hear about it as a community, but when we do get word, as in the case of Aizlyn Weimer, whose parents told us Monday morning that Aizlyn was located Sunday and for now is safe, such incidents leave many of us wondering what we would do if our child didn’t come home one night, or how we can prepare them in advance in case they need help at some point.

Patch talked with Pottmeyer about what parents can do to help their teens understand their options in a crisis and strategies to help families negotiate the sometimes heart-breaking teen years.

She said the most important things for parents to remember if crisis hits is not to focus on self-blaming, and that it’s always ok to trust your gut—if you suspect your teen is having issues, don’t feel guilty about about checking it out. 

“Just because your child is struggling doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent,” Pottmeyer says.

Tell Teens How to Find a “Safe Place”

Pottmeyer said that even before there’s any potential crisis,  it’s a good idea to educate teens about Safe Place, which provides youth easily accessible ways to get help if they need it. The national program connects kids with services, and in King County all libraries, King County Metro buses, and hospital emergency rooms are access points. If a teen is on the street or worried, he or she can hop onto any bus or walk into a library and tell the staff they need a safe place. They can also text the sord SAFE and their location to 69866.

If teens know about Safe Place, they’ll not only have that information in their minds if they ever need it, but they can help friends who may be in trouble.

How can you get help if your family is in crisis?

If you need help, you can call for services at no cost to you, Pottmeyer said, as services are funded by federal programs and by the cities where the organization operates. Family services at Friends of Youth include counseling, parenting classes geared especially to parents of teens to help you learn additional tools to talk with your teens, and even respite care for teens at Friends of Youth’s Youth Haven facility.

“Sometimes families need a cooling off period,” Pottmeyer says. If that’s the case, “We can keep them safe, give them a shower or bath, and something to eat.”

Reaching out for services does not mean there will be a referral to authorities such as CPS, Pottmeyer emphasized.

What if your teen does run away?

If your child is missing and you need help or are wanting to do something more than filing a police report and waiting, Friends of Youth is a good place to call. The organization has “street teams” that do homeless outreach on the streets, especially in the summer when those school support systems are less available.

“It makes sense to call the local providers and ask them to keep an eye out,” Pottmeyer said.

If a teen does come to the shelter, they can stay for up to 72 hours before Friends of Youth is required to call the Runaway Hotline. The reason for this, Pottmeyer says, is that if kids knew they would be immediately reported, they would be much less likely to come to the shelter. While the youth are there, counselors and case managers work with them intensively with the goal of reunification with the family or helping them negotiate an appropriate alternative.

“We really talk with them about reconnecting with their family,” Pottmeyer said.

After that three days, teens can stay on and their whole family can receive services during their entire stay.

The long and short of it is that as much as ever, it takes a village, and youth services in local cities are a vital part of that network of resources. Pottmeyer said local youth services are for any parents who want support, have concerns or are having trouble communicating with their teens.

“I would suggest (parents) reach out to their youth services provider to help them learn to talk to their kids and vice versa. Parenting classes and support can go a long way,” she says.

To learn more about the services offered at Friends of Youth locations, visit their website here.