Interrupt me, please!

Please interrupt.

I give each and every one of you fully and unconditional permission to interrupt me when you no longer can or want to listen to me any longer for any reason … and I will thank you to do so.

On the face of it, a pretty radical thing to say, no; but maybe it may not be as radical as it sounds.

Most of us have been very well-trained “not to interrupt” the other person. As children, we’ve been taught that it’s not polite, it’s disrespectful, and barring the need to go to the bathroom (and maybe not even then), we should never, ever interrupt.

The result? Ever since that time we’ve spend a lot of time, our time and their time, in conversations that often seem to go on and on with no end in sight.

And too often you and I wind up feeling trapped with no way out, hoping that “they” will reach the end of what they have to say or run down miraculously. Neither you nor I want to appear impolite or disrespectful so we suck it up and hunker down to wait it out.

But what if interrupting wasn’t at all disrespectful? What if we accepted their interrupting us as a sign of respect? What if we actually felt honored by their interruption and saw it as a contribution instead?

Consider this: you and I generally assume that our listener is listening when we speak. In turn, when you or I are spoken with, the one talking naturally assumes we are listening.

But we know this is not always true.

Now and again (sometimes much more now than again) we begin to feel uncomfortable in the midst of a conversation. Perhaps we’ve lost their train of thought; maybe we are out of time and have to move onto our next appointment. Or possibly it is a simple as we’re hungry, tired, or just plain distracted for no particular reason at all.

So now we can ask the right question:

·       “Is it truly respectful if we allow someone to go on well past the point of our focus, discomfort, or distraction?”

·       Honestly, does it honor them or us when we choose to remain in a conversation that has clearly shifted?

·       Is it really well-mannered to agree to be talked AT instead of WITH?"

I propose that it is neither polite nor respectful, and when we notice that we are being talked AT it is far, far more respectful of them and to us if we interrupt the flow of speech with something like,

“Hold on a minute, I realize that I am:”

·       Out of time, lost my train of thought, need a cup of coffee, or have some other reason that prevents me from paying attention to what you are saying.

I apologize, can we….

·       Take a short break, rewind, grab a cup of coffee, or reschedule this discussion for a later time?

“Thanks!”

I assert that it is entirely respectful and not in the least impolite to interrupt the person talking at you politely, with honor and respect.

So I repeat my request:

If any of you listening to me need to interrupt:

·       Do not wait.

·       Do not suffer in silence waiting for me to wind down.

·       Do not enable me to go on and on assuming you are listening.

Instead, please:

·       Stop me (politely)

That is clearly the most respectful way to go for both of us.

Interrupt me, please!